I’m taking a small break from the story. I probably should write it out in word or something anyways. I think I have a pretty good start on it, and it could go anywhere. Myself, I enjoy the way the first two chapters start and end the same way. I have the idea how to write the third and continue this trend. My idea was to fully describe some of the main characters and show how even though they might be at different points in their lives, that they’re all connected in a way that seems very boring. Very average. Put the reader into the mind set that these people are connected more than family. But any who, enough of that. I’m sure I could publish a book if I was distracted by shiny things all the time, or loud noises. I blame a friend for my ADD. Then again, maybe he just brought it out in me. See? There I go again, writing away from my original intention of today’s post, which, incidentally is: Today.
I woke up today to my dark Man Cave and thought to myself, I could stay here all day. It is one of those perfect days, in my mind, for doing one of the most perfect things: nothing. The summer that I lived in Ada I dreamed for days like this. Dark, gloomy and rainy. Sounds depressing as hell doesn’t it? Well, I tell you what, depression is a part of life and it is best to soak it up and enjoy the upside of down. Depression is a part of life and it should be embraced as much as happiness. Without it, we wouldn’t appreciate the good that happens so few and far between. We couldn’t sit beside ourselves and think “wow, it could be worse” or say “I suppose it really isn’t THAT bad”. Next time you’re sad, cry. Next time your scared, hide. Next time you think you can’t go a single step further, fall back onto your bed and collapse. Embrace the hopelessness. Don’t hide behind a prescription or booze. They won’t make the problem go away. And as soon as you’ve enjoyed the moment, and I really mean take it all in. Soak in the sights around. Remember everything about that moment when you were crushed, or hurt, or whatever you were feeling. These are the moments that form you. These are the life changing moments that define you as a person and mold your character. I thank whatever forces out there that are greater than me for the horrible childhood I had. I’m thankful for being every part of the overweight, awkward, unfashionable kid that I was. It made me who I am. Now I know what it’s like to be unwanted, overweight, an outcast and unattractive. It humbled me. When I see a person like that now I can relate. We’re all human! We’re all scared and terrified underneath. We don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring. Hell I don’t know what ten minutes from now will bring.
I’ve gone slightly off topic, but I’m going to run with it. You have to embrace the world around you in all it’s glory. This is the only life you get. What are your problems today? Your jeans didn’t fit. They were out of your favorite coffee. Did you even notice the sun rise? Did you take a deep breath when you went outside today? Did you wake up next to someone who you’ve been taken for granted lately? Have you smiled at a complete stranger? The power of a single smile has the most amazing affect on people. And it doesn’t matter how you look, a smile will generate a smile. When a stranger smiles at me, I silently wish him a great day for reminding me there is some happiness out there.
So whats the point? Whats this nut talking about and what does it have to do with the topic? Well, today is a perfectly miserable day and I want to embrace it. On days like this I love to put on my old hoddie, and stay in my boxers or toss on some pajama pants and curl up on the couch with a glass of wine (keep the bottle near by, mind you) and turn on a sad movie. A real good one too. One that I know will make me cry and make me think. A stupendous movie for this is “High Fidelity”. Oh man. This is my favorite movie to watch when I’ve been having girl troubles. Or just want to let out a few tears in general. Another great movie is “Gattaca”. What a powerful movie about the human spirit. Then follow it up with any episodes of Scrubs you can get your hands on. There are more movies, “Garden State” and anything with Zach Braff, French Kiss… jeeze, I can probably take you through a movie store and load you up for days. There is no shame in crying and after that first glass of wine, you’ll be into the movie pretty good. Then just let the tears come when they do, or if they don’t, they don’t. But I love to do that. It’s my idea of a perfect afternoon, on a day like today. Curl up with a loved one or by yourself, but embrace the emotion. Realize that there is still a sun above those clouds and not every day is going to be a perfect sunny day.
I keep the house nice and dark and a little colder than usual. That way you embrace the warmth from your clothes, under the blanket or that special someone. Great way to bond.
As for now, this cowboy needs some new speakers, because the other thing I like to do on a day like today is play video games, and while I still don’t have a care in the world, I’m going to embrace that. Make a nice pot of tea and just frag the shit out of some North Koreans (I’m playing Crysis recently). But you can bet your ass that I’m dressed perfectly: pajama pants, over-sized tee-shirt and my nerdy glasses. Maybe later I’ll toss on some over-sized socks to complete the fashion “don’t” statement.
The tragedies in your life are only as big as you let them be.
