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The Straw

I can’t sleep because my brain won’t let me. I have so much going on. Or its the loneliness I feel.

Maybe I’ll make breakfast soon or just try to sleep till noon.

This is day two.

I’ll be worried on day three.

The More

The more I create the more I destroy. I sit here wondering what really were my greatest fears.

Fuck your sense of loneliness. Fuck your financial debts.

This world is cold and it gets colder ever yet.

These tear drops aren’t over yet.

A Star So Bright

A long chat with a friend tonight sparked a dimming light.

Maybe that’s just what I needed to finally sleep well tonight.

Flattered.

I was pleasantly surprised to ask for my input on writing. It was invigorating.

The technical writing I’ve been doing for work has been constantly pushed back by shrugs of “…ehhh, too technical…” “…not necessary…” and I push back with facts, statistics, employee input, historical and legacy documentation calling the bullshit that previous documents were “good enough”.

It’s not a violent discussion. It’s the lack of discussion. I stoked a fire and the results are gaining traction. Finally I feel that there is a chance to achieve what I’ve been striving for, understanding that my work may seem over the top for size of the company currently but I write to future proof, I write for excellence. But that’s not the point of this post.

I was consulted to review content of another’s independent work. Completely unrelated to my job but when I made critiques they were discussed. Not shut down. They were respected.

It made my day.

It made me remember my passion isn’t singular.

It enforced that my writing, technical or not isn’t rubbish.

It sharpened my teeth of confidence.

The old adage (paraphrasing) is ” better to say nothing and appear stupid than speak and confirm it”.

Today removed that sliver of doubt.

The burning passion of writing that started to smoulder is once again ablaze.

Rick and Mooooooorty

“Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you but what people call “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.

It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.”
-Rick

If you haven’t seen this show then I highly recommend you start watching it. It’s a great wacky ‘Ren and Stimpy’-esq with a smart yet depressing twist of the realities of life. The wacky adventures are offset by quick witted well placed quips. You go in for a laugh. You leave with a deep thought.

Focus on science.

Time for a burrito. Yay Friday.

If…

If I plant a weeping willow now, will I grow old to see it die? If I plant a morning glory will the dew on it make an older version of me cry? If I say I can’t wait til September, will I already realize it’s December? These things I have are only things but memories aren’t forever.

Sunday

I got to spend the day with my dad. We played golf and jokes were had. Frail and rough was the course but the fact he’s still with me was par.

Maybe you didn’t get to grow up and enjoy these types of moments but these are moments I’ll never forget.

He only wanted to play a hole or two but I urged him on for a few more.

He didn’t get mad or seem displaced in the fact my mind was all over the place. But when I struck the ball he felt proud. That I was still doing what he wished he told me how.

Frail is every relationship. And nurture, patience and perseverance are all you can equip.

I love you dad.